Illustrated and written by me circa 2004. This is part of a series I did titled “Freaks of the Gym.” It was inspired by real people and heavily influenced by Mad Magazine. Check out my other Freaks of the Gym posts here; Moses.
When you do those step-ups hmmm… make sure you don’t laterally rotate your hip, keep your gody perpendicular to a special right triangle and sustain the contraction of the rectus femurs, vastus lateralis and intermedius musculature at the concentric phase of the isotonic…
COMMONLY HEARD BLURBING OUT Strange scientifically worder tidbits of advice nobody understands.
DRAW STRING SWEAT PANTS He stole them from his high school P.E. class in an attemp to show the real jocks that he’s bad.
AIR PUMPS WITH VELCRO A classcic 80s product.
FLAT TOP To hide the nerd in him by trying to look stylish.
UNIVERSITY SWEATSHIRT That he attended and still fantasizes about playing sports for.
HEAVY BOOK Has lifted more books than weights.
SOCKS PULLED UP TO KNEES Same pair his mom gave him twenty three years ago in junior high school.