Illustrated and written by me circa 2004. This is part of a series I did titled “Freaks of the Gym.” It was inspired by real people and heavily influenced by Mad Magazine. Check out my other Freaks of the Gym posts here; Moses, Checkered Shorts Guy, Propeller Head, Ken, Boot Camp Bob.
TRANSCRIPTION
Complete with botox and a boob job She-la Fitness Girl of Power looks like a character straight off a Hollywood info-commercial. A self proclaimed top fitness instructor in the nation She-la uses a combination of agreessiveness, over confidence and sex appeal to create a following of both fans and clients.
PERMA SMILE Even when she’s mad the smile never budges.
FRESH PERM More chemicals than a DuPont factory.
TIGHT LOW CUT SHIRT To attract all the perverted old men who frequent the gym to hire her as their trainer.
FACE LIFT She would rather haver her face look like saran wrap than have wrinkles.
BAG FULL OF PILATES AND YOGA EQUIPMENT To position herself as an expert in Yoga and Pilates secrets although most of what she talks about seems to be scripted from a Windsor Pilates info commercial.
TENNIS SHORTS She has never actualy played tennis.
US WEEKLY Reads it daily and dreams about being Oprah’s personal trainer.
MUSCULAR LEGS From doing at least three hours of aerobic instruction a day.
